Well, I try to say no properly.

At beNext I’m not just a coach. I’m the CEO, invested with the mission of being the guardrail or the king’s fool, David’s fool, the sole shareholder and founder. I get help from Dragos, the observer with the keen eye and wise word. Our trio works wonderfully (so far, knock on wood). It thrives on positive tension. But as the company flourishes, I increasingly become this temple guardian, and it’s wearing me down.

We try to define a framework as much as possible (through our sociocratic/holacratic approach that we call gothamocracy), but also by constantly talking to people. At least I try. And I let people do what they want within this framework (at least, I try bis repetita), with the posture, the role, of catching them, blocking them, telling them no, if they step outside of it, if they do something that doesn’t align with our values, nor with the company’s purpose. Above all, I try to ensure they don’t wait for my approval, but rather that I catch them on the fly if needed.

I try, it’s not simple to get this message across, because the more I say “no” the more I slow down initiatives when precisely the goal is to provoke them. Yet the more I say “no” the more they should understand that they can try, it’s paradoxical and difficult to handle, I’m not doing it well. If there’s never a “no” it means we’re not trying anything (or that we agree with everything and there’s no purpose). But I must be saying “no” badly. A complicated posture that I’m constantly trying to revise. And the bigger the company grows the more I say “no,” because there are more and more ways to step outside the framework, to forget the purpose, to trample on the values. To go from a virtuous circle to a vicious circle. And the more I say no, the more I watch over things, the less I experiment.

I say “no” when we violate or forget our values (no pursuit of excellence, bullshit, not enough humility, too serious (not enough fun)) or our purpose (be your potential, fulfilling the potential of benexters and our clients, or more recently, hack your future, a more rebellious way of saying: let’s take control of our future, our potential).

I say “no” so often… too often perhaps right now.

No to this person to host a meetup at beNext. No sorry, they’re not sufficiently in pursuit of excellence, they don’t question themselves enough, and don’t convey enough desire to go further. It looks more like simply a communication operation and doesn’t spread real learning. So no. I wouldn’t always say no, but first YOU need to ask yourselves questions. And all this person’s friends resent me.

No to this person who’s applying to work with us. No, because they’re not ready yet, they don’t yet know what they want. It wouldn’t serve anyone. Or NO to this one again, because they’re not pursuing this quest for excellence, this introspection, this willingness to try and learn, maybe they’re even self-satisfied, haughty. So NO. Or NO to this one, because they really don’t have the right values. And all this person’s friends resent me.

I say “no” not everyone is equal. I say “no” not everyone should decide on all subjects. Because naturally if everyone decides there’s complacency and a blatant lowering of the level of decisions. I say “no” not everyone is paid the same, naturally “no” all contexts are not the same, nor the histories. I say “no” we don’t disclose salaries, because not everyone is mature enough to understand and intelligently manage this information, or other information¹. I say “no” not everyone has the same decision-making power. For the same reasons. And above all my opinion can change. I express that it can change, I express out loud my questions and reflections, my thought process. But the whole group suspects me. I can change my mind, but today this is my opinion, and it seems to me consistent with the proper flourishing of the company.

I say “no” to such and such commercial proposal, because it in no way contributes to the fulfillment of the “benexter” or our client’s potential. There will be neither pleasure nor impact. I say “no” when we have to conform to a bureaucratic formalism as obsolete as it is stupid, because precisely we fight every day for a better world, in pursuit of excellence and for #nobullshit. I say “no” to making an abstruse skills dossier for a purchasing group that has lost touch with reality. And the entire sales team looks at me with a dark stare.

“Pablo is harsh” or “Pablo is scary” flourish on slack or in our Gothamocracy minutes (holacracy/sociocracy). I’m not proud of it, it’s not pleasant, but it’s also possible to write it in full view of everyone, that reassures me.

Saying no is refusing the easy way. It’s the exhausting condition for taking on the other hand immense pleasure in experiencing fascinating things.